Today is my last day of being 52. Tomorrow, by convention, I begin my official stint as a 53 year old. When I was younger, I sometimes would say that I felt older on my birthday, but not so much any more. From time to time a pain here or there reminds me that I’m not a spring chicken, but I certainly do my best to counteract the ravages of time.
I’ve been using the entire week leading up to June 5 to celebrate, even though there really hasn’t been a celebration and the most I expect will be carry out food and a box cake at my mom’s tomorrow afternoon, but that’s okay. I would love to have a boyfriend at some point in my life where we could celebrate in grand fashion and act like fools and do silly and sensuous stuff, but right now, I suppose, it’s not in the cards. Not that i haven’t tried, but maybe getting and having a boyfriend isn’t one of my talents.
I’ve got goals for the coming year, as I usually do, and I, for the most part always work toward them. Sometimes I think I’m not good at achieving goals either. But, as they say, the joy is in the journey. If that’s the case I’m a joyous man.
I hadn’t realized until the last few days that June 5 is also the anniversary of the identification of HIV/AIDS. Not the kind of anniversary that one would expect to celebrate, but, considering I have been POZ for quite a long time, it is difficult not to see some odd and twisted significance in the shared date. I choose not to hide my status, but I don’t go around wearing red ribbons and moaning and groaning about this pain, that ache and what ever infection. I do, however, make a big deal about the cost of treatment. At present I am unemployed and count on the State to help with my medication costs, but for 12 years I worked as a computer analyst for a major hospital and had their best insurance plan and I still ended up spending most of my income on medical co-pays and spend downs. Every three months alone I’d have to cough up $1200 for pills. It’s pretty friggin’ hard to believe that the mark-up on AZT, which has been around since 1964, is explained away as research and development costs. Sorry. We can afford nation building but can’t afford public radio or medicine for our citizens. Just another thing I don’t get.
I sold 2 more t-shirts online last night. Now, if I can only sell about 50 to 100 of them a day for the next 10 years I’ll be set! New designs coming soon - I promise - and new products. Can you say “Customized Baby Bibs?”
So, here I am. A reasonably good looking though some what used and scuffed up single male with a good sense of humor, quite passionate and the ability to play the guitar and sing (and fairly well) at the same time. Expiration date is a little closer, but still far enough in the future that I’m a great deal.
Life is good, but sometimes it’s this living business that gets in the way of my party schedule. Now, if only I had a party schedule……